


Confused

by Kimmy



Series: Merlin Codas [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Episode: s02e08 The Sins Of The Father, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-27
Updated: 2014-12-27
Packaged: 2018-03-01 14:54:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2777258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmy/pseuds/Kimmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am indebted to you, Merlin. I have become... confused. It is once again clear to me that those who practice magic are evil and dangerous. And that is thanks to you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confused

"Glad I could help."

Merlin forced himself to smile and quickly left the prince's chambers. He shut the door behind, but didn't move forward. He couldn't bring himself to make another step. He leaned against the wooden surface of the door and tried to let all his emotions sink in.

It was... a strange time. During this few days they had their ups and downs, but mostly, Merlin was happier than ever before. The conversations they had with Arthur on the quest to find Morgause and after, they had changed the way he looked at the prince. Merlin had thought that as much as he was a great and good man Arthur was blinded by what his father taught him about Magic. Apparently he was wrong and he was happy to be so. 

He wasn't sure himself if Morgause was really the one to be trusted. But to hear Arthur say that those with magic, to hear that are human too, that they deserve better than to burn just for who they are, to hear that they are not evil. It was the priceless feeling. This hope, this knowledge. Merlin felt that he had just seen a glimpse of The Once and Future King Arthur was to become. 

And then it all crumbled. 

Merlin had no idea if what they saw was real, but it shocked him as much as Arthur. And, to be frank, it did even make sense. Uther was a hypocrite, that was no secret, so why should he be different when it came to the matter of magic? It seemed that Uther had really known Nimueh, now that he thought of that. Maybe it was true that Camelot was once the kingdom to embrace magic. Uthers hatred couldn't be natural, it had to have a source. And for a man with such a fierce soul, the man who always done everything with all his heart... It fit Uther Pendragon to give his very soul to the love and lose his soul to the hatred for the same reason.

They were quiet on their way back from the encoounter with Ygraine if that was the real queen indeed. Merlin wasn't sure and he still remembered the conversation they had before so he decided to shut up for once. And then Gaius confirmed the words. And everything had gone even worse, if that was even possible.

Merlin didn't know why he stopped Arthur. Had the prince killed his father this day, he would become the King assured that magic can be a powerful ally, he would lift the ban, and build Albion Merlin dreamed of. But somehow... that wasn't true, Merlin knew that. That wouldn't be the true Albion, because it wouldn't be built on truth. It would be built on lies, uncertain half-truths and particide. And Arthur would be broken, he couldn't have been The Once and Future King after that. No matter what the truth was, it had to be sort out peacefully. Arthur have been wronged, but he had to right it without volence. After all, Merlin knew better than him tight now, in affect, that the prince loved his father dearly.

He should have said something else. But try to think of something both effective and diplomatic in a situation like that. He used the first idea that came to his mind, and he didn't have enough courage to correct it ater. Because as for the greatest warlock that have ever lived or will ever live, Merlin had a feeling he was a pretty cowardly Emrys.

And that was it. He stayed silent where he had a chance to fix everything again. Destiny should find another candidate to help Arthur. Because this one, he made it once again clear to Arthur Pendragon that those who practice magic are evil and dangerous. 

It was too much. He forced himself to go, but his knees gave up under him and he had fallen. Sitting like that, leaning against the door to the Crown Prince chambers, he cried.

* * *

Arthur was devasted. He should be angry or relieved. He should be grateful that Merlin stopped him from killing his father. He was grateful for that. He was really glad that Uther lived, because after all, he truly loved his father. But he didn't like the situation at all. As much as he believed King's words when he said he wouldn't do anything that would hurt his wife, there was still something missing. And he knew exactly what. Magic.

Arhur had been taught all his life that magic was evil, but he never quite believed that as whole-heartedly as his father. Though he was always as stubborn as Uther, and so he had his own opinion, strong beliefs, in responsibility and equality. Also, despite what Merlin kept saying, Arthur was good at learning. He was eager to read and think. Through the years he gained true technical knowlede of magic and how to wield it. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't logically find it evil just on the basis of these facts.

He have later seen so many sorcerers trying to doom Camelot that he stopped questioning his father, but this doubt was always somewhere there. He just wondered where did his fathers hatred of magic come from. 

He had trusted magic in his life a few times, and he hadn't burned himself yet. He trusted the light in the cave when he was looking for the Morteus flower to save Merlin and saved the druid boy when Morgana and Merlin asked him. He was saved by magic when they were losing a battle in Merlin's village, and he discovered some creatures of magic wre good, like unicorn, as Merlin claimed from the begging...

Merlin.

Arthur thought of his servant who has just left his room, somehow suddenly sad at the prince's thanks. Arthur thought of the sound of the door closing behind Merlin and... But there were no steps, were there? There weren't, and if so, then Merlin didn't leave. But if he didn't leave, then he would still be right outside, on the other side of the door. Just... why?

Arthur heard a muffled sound though the wood, as he pushed the door open, and found a broken figure of a lanky, pale, dark haired boy curled up on his treshold.

"Merlin?"

When the servant in question reluctantly raised his head up, Arthur's blue eyes met another pair of very wide, the same shade, but this eyes were surrounded by red and filled with tears. Arthur gasped.

"Merlin..."

* * *

Arthur brought Merlin up from the floor and, remembering to lock the door behind them, dragged him inside. He positioned the boy gently on his bed, and sat next to him. Merlin was still crying his eyes out, not even aware somebody moved him. Arthur suddenly felt extremily tired. The tide of the feeling of the last events attacked him and he envied Merlin this tears of relief. It wasn't about the title or position. He wasn't too proud to cry. Especially not just in his own room, not in front of Merlin, because... well, that was Merlin, and considering the current situation, he really could allow his tears to fall.

But the truth was, after all that hapened, he didn't even have it in himself to cry. He was tired, oh, so tired, and he just sat next to his friend, with arm around Merlin' shoulders. Both of them with worn epressions on their faces, both a bit broken, but supporting each other. When Merlin finally stopped sobbing the silence embraced them.

 

 

"I have magic."

 

 

It took Arthur a while to let those words sink in.

"What?"

"I have magic. I have no idea if Morgause really showed you your mother of if this was just a projection, but I couldn't let you kill your fater, I... I asked Gaius about that and I think it may be partially true, what we heard, but I am sure it was not like Ygraine told you, I know your father said the truth when he assured you he loved her dearly and would never hurt her. I know it was all very confusing, and it was no easier for me than it was for you and you have no idea how much it hurt to see you put your head on the chopping block, to know how far you would go to get to know something about your mother, and then when you did, it had to be that, it must have been so terrible, but I couldn't let you kill your father, I just couldn't, because you love him, and you weren't yourself when you threatened him and I just... Arthur, we've been though hell today, but please, try to think about it. I know you have no reason to trust magic and though I am sure of nothing, I don't trust Morgause in particular too, but magic isn't all that bad, it's just a tool. If you hit somebody on the head with a frying pan it causes pain too, but it doesn't mean it is evil, does it?"

"Merlin." Arthur had to interupt or this consatant bubbling would go on for hours.

Another sob escaped the young warlock.

"Yes?"

"It's alright. We're going to have a long talk with Gaius and my father, but everything in it's right time. You are right, we've been though hell today, and so we need rest now. You need to calm down, Merlin. It's over, everything's gonna be alright."

"But, Arthur, I have magic..."

"Alright. It's alright, Merlin."

And surprisingly, it really was.

 


End file.
